Ready or not, here I come!

So today marks two months until I turn 30, and in truth I am more than ready for what the next decade will offer me, which is a little surprising to be honest. For the majority of my life I viewed 30 as this huge milestone, which maybe it is, but I also had so many unreal expectations for myself, that I was basically terrified of turning 30.

From the time that I was little girl and even well into my early and mid-twenties, I held some beliefs that were not my own (I have no idea who’s they were, but clearly they were not mine) and in fact, they crippled me in many ways. I thought that by the time I turned 30, I would already be married and have some kids. When I found myself on that path in my early twenties, I was miserable and the least connected to myself, more so than I had been in any other time in my life. Now that’s not because I have anything against marriage or having children, in fact I’m super excited about both prospects, but I was racing towards several goals that I didn’t actually believe in. After plenty of life experiences and personal changes, a few years ago, I clearly dissolved those beliefs and created new ones. I realized that my actual timeline of life is vastly different than the one I created in my head when I was 7…and if I were living my life today with the expectations that I held when I was 7, well let’s just say I might run into a few bumps in the road.

So as I have grown older and wiser, I have very deliberately reviewed what beliefs I’m living my life by and have gotten rid of the ones that no longer apply. Basically, I have created a life that sets me up to be happy, fulfilled, and moving forward with purpose and excitement.

In terms of turning 30, I am psyched. I have never been happier, healthier, and ready to move forward welcoming the unknown.

Some food for thought:

Are there any old or new beliefs in your life that are steering you in a direction that does not necessarily align with what you actually want?

What fears come up around reviewing your most fundamental beliefs?

How could reviewing and updating your beliefs change your life?

I hope you all are well,

Talia

Reunited and it feels so good

Baby steps…

I have to admit that I have been a really bad blogger and I don’t have a good excuse at all. A week ago, when one of my readers called me out for not posting anything new in months, I did in fact recommit to posting. It’s not that I haven’t had plenty of experiences to write about, but rather I got lazy and lost a bit of my confidence in the process. For the past few months, everyday when I looked at my schedule, I would write, “I will blog today”, and of course that obviously did not happen, so then I would say…”tomorrow, yeah, I’ll do it tomorrow,” and that didn’t happen either. Pretty soon I found myself in a pretty negative pattern of procrastination, which ultimately turned into loosing my confidence, thus being a little bit scared to re-enter the blogging world.

I can’t take it any longer. The self-imposed guilt and veil of irrational fear that I’m carrying is sucking the life out of me. AHHHHHHHH. Sorry, I just needed to shake that off. In truth there are a lot exciting things happing in my life, and taking the time to reflect upon them can only help me gain clarity as to what’s really important to me and how can I achieve what I want.

So in moving forward, I am not going to make false promises to myself as to how many times a week I’ll blog, but rather I am choosing to remember how good it feels in this moment to accomplish something that is important to me.

So with that said, here are some of the questions I’ll be asking myself until we meet again:

If accomplishing a task, no matter how big or small, makes me feel so good, what is the point in procrastinating that task?

What other areas in my life have I been neglecting, and what is the cost?

What are my priorities right now?

How can I hold onto a sense of accomplishment?

I hope you all will welcome me back into your cyber reading and re-join the conversation.

I look forward to hearing from you,

Talia

Open to a loving the madness.

The past few weeks have been absolutely nuts in my life. My life has a tendency to be filled with randomness and excitement, but what has happened lately is different from anything that I can recall. From someone re-entering my life, whom I had 100% written off and had moved on from, to amazing travels, and the potential of something new and totally crazy, I am convinced that all of this is happening for a reason....not a celestial reason, but rather that I am at a place in my life to welcome and be okay with whatever comes my way.

Now, I'm not sitting here saying 'look at me, my life is SOOOO perfect", actually what I am saying is this, "Yea, this is crazy and totally unexpected, and I'm ready to face it all head on and am ready to go." Over the past few years I have done a lot of personal work on myself to prepare myself for what is happening now. I'm sure to some of you the term 'personal work' is completely unappealing and most likely conjures up some sort of negative connotation, but what I have experienced and has been nothing short of an awesome ride, with many ups and downs. There are many lessons that I am trying to learn and have not yet been able to fully incorporate into my life, but with that said, the knowing of what I'm striving for helps to keep me grounded and moving in a positive direction no matter what.

When I find myself over thinking my life, which I do often even when it's all good, I find myself trying to predict or manipulate the future... I'm pretty crafty, but I'm not super human, so spending all this energy trying to figure out the "what's next?" is kind of pointless. It's somewhat of an impossibility for me to say that I have no expectations of what's to come, because I do, however, the future is out of my control. So what I am focusing on is this, moving forward with passion and truth, and being unattached to the outcome.

The people in my life who know me best, know that I live fully and give my all when I am excited about what's going on, and they have also witnessed some of my major disappointments. I don't want to be disappointed anymore, so with that I am creating this intention: I experience life as it comes without attachment to it's outcome, so that I can fully appreciate what is happening in the moment and make changes based on truth and not on expectations.

If you could take a few moments time to create a statement of intent for how you would like to move forward from this moment on, what would it be?

Please share what you come up with or let's just talk about it.

Hope you're all well,

Talia

Yay for today!

Today I woke up in one of my most favorite places on earth, San Fransisco. I am here with my best friend, and have four full days to roam around the city and connect with old friends. I am so happy to be here and want to take full advantage of this time.

San Fransisco, to me feels like my second home, which in my mind is pretty cool. So in order to take full advantage of my time here, I am focusing my energy on staying present in the moment, and remaining flexible. My friend and I have travelled together before, and I think we make good travel buddies, but when traveling with someone other than yourself, it is important to share your plans and hopes for what you want out of the trip, otherwise you may end up feeling disappointed.

So over a cup of some serious coffee, Mandy and I are going to map out what we both want out of the trip, and then we'll be off.

What traveling tips have you learned over the years?

How do you remain flexible while taking someone else's agenda into account?

When you think about your most memorible trips, can you identify what lead to that being the case, (was it circumstantial, a state of mind, the people you were with, expecting the unexpected)?

I hope you all are well, and please share your thoughts.

Later all,

Talia

Now, isn't this a fun pattern…

So this past week marks the second time my purse has been stolen out of my car from the same location. I know what you’re thinking, “Wow, you would think once would have been enough to learn that lesson”, well apparently not. The irony of the latest incident was I actually had the thought as I left my purse, which had both my phone and iPod in it, in my car, that as my Father would say, “You’re crusin’ for a brusin’”…and he was right. As pissed as I was, I really only had myself to blame.

So after dealing with the annoying aftermath of not having a phone, being pissed about losing my favorite purse, and cancelling all my credit cards and bank accounts, I slowed my mind enough to sort out what this event was really all about. And what I came up with is this: I have created a belief that it is necessary for me to learn lessons the hard way.

Huh, well that sucks.

I have spent some more time thinking about the deeper meaning of this belief, that I have been living with for the majority of my life, and what I have decided, is that this belief no longer suits me, and to be honest I’m not sure it has suited me at all. This belief is not limited to my leaving purses in cars, in fact it is most clearly evident in my relationship patterns…I stay involved and connected to relationships both platonically and romantically well past their expiration date. What I have realized is that, I have had a really difficult time being honest with myself in terms of when to change my behavior... meaning that I usually recognize when I am no longer benefiting from a situation, but taking the necessary steps to change that situation seem to lag way behind.

I am tired of living by extreme life lessons. Instead I choose to stay present and recognize when things require adjustments and making those adjustments in a much quicker fashion, if not immediately. Since this is a patterned behavior that I have been living with for many many years now, I am really going to try to be gentle with myself throughout this process of redefining my new belief, which is this: I trust my intuition and make the necessary changes in my daily life, no matter how significant, so that I set myself up for success.

So here are some questions that may help you to identify a destructive pattern in your own life that is keeping you down…

Is there something in your life that constantly has you saying, “Why is this happening…again?” If so, what are you doing or not doing that is causing this to be the case?

Where in your life can you connect the dots, meaning can you see if there are other areas in your life that are not the way you desire them to be, in order to determine if you are living a belief or a pattern that is no longer serving you?

What is keeping you from modifying your behavior in order to create a different outcome?

What is your desired outcome?

I hope this is a helpful discussion and some food for thought. Here’s to moving forward with purpose and intention.

I hope to hear from you,

Talia

No postage necessary.

As I was driving home tonight, my mind started to drift to thoughts about some of my very close friends. And I found myself thinking about all the reasons why I love being around them, some of these reasons are their generosity, their gracious hospitality, how much we laugh when we're all together, and a general sense of safety and comfort.

Then I started to think, what do people appreciate about me? Now I'm not looking for compliments, actually my point is the exact opposite.... although compliments are wonderful. My point is this, I want to people to know what I think about them.

The few times in my life when people whom I cherish, have taken the time to share their thoughts about me, have been some of the most meaningful moments that I can recall. So with that said, today I am creating the intention to weekly share my own gratitude for the love and support that my family and friends offer me, simply by telling them, so that they know that I appreciate and value their presence in my life.

Chew on this…

What would it feel like if you were to randomly receive a hand written letter or an email from a good friend, telling you why he or she enjoys having you in their life?

If it’s sometimes difficult to say what you are feeling, what form of expression will serve you the best?

How will you feel once you have shared your thoughts?

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend,

Talia

Help me, Help you

I am trying to make my blog more interactive, so I am calling on you, my readers, to help me achieve this.

What will it take for you to participate?

Is there anything in particular that you would like me to blog about?

Are there topics that I have written about that don’t interest you?

I often times wonder if what I write interests anyone, I mean my life to me is not that extraordinary, thus why I have created this blog to try and break down my day to day life to make it more manageable. I value your input greatly... please share it with me.

Happy Tuesday,

Talia

A good reminder…

I like to pride myself on being a good friend and communicating well with all people, but sometimes it is most difficult to tell someone close to you the truth out of fear…. What is that fear all about?

 I just got off the phone with one of my dearest friends, and I was reminded of the power of direct communication.  I got myself into a situation with this person where I ended up causing her stress and basically I was rude to her because I couldn’t communicate with her directly.  Finally we talked after a week of missed phone calls and numerous e-mails, and hopefully we have sorted it all out and hopefully this won’t have a lasting effect on our relationship.

Why is it so difficult to speak the truth?  What makes communicating directly sometimes so uncomfortable?  In retrospect, I wish I had spoken the truth form the get go, and told my friend that travelling this past weekend was not going to work for me, and instead I lead her to believe that I was going to make the trip happen, thus she delayed making her plans and ended up feeling like I was blowing her off and that I didn’t appreciate all that she was doing to make sure we got a chance to see each other.  None of this is true of course, but since I left her no option but to create a story in her own head, this is now the situation I find myself in.

Thankfully, she had the courage to speak directly to me, and tell me how upset she was and how all she wanted was for me to be honest in the first place. I would have save both of us so much energy if I could have just been upfront from the get-go.

There are other areas in my life where direct communication is a challenge for me and I think I have figured out why that is…I don’t like to disappoint people and confrontation makes me uncomfortable.  Naming those two fears feels good, and there is still plenty of work for me to do around this issue. This was a good reminder for me…I want people to be honest with me all the time, no matter what, I want to be able to give that back in return.

What helps you to speak the truth?

What stops you from direct communication?

What do you appreciate most about direct communication?

Please share your thoughts on the topic; I know I’m interested in what you have to say.

 Talia

 

 

Changing things up

After a wonderful long weekend spent with great friends, I am finding it a bit difficult to settle back into my daily routine. One reason this is proving to be difficult is due to the fact that all of a sudden I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by all that I want to accomplish, both for my business and personally. Stepping outside of my routine gave me the opportunity to see my life without being in it per se, thus allowing me the time and space to mentally organize it and create several action plans.

Action plans, in theory, really excite me, and for some reason the steps it takes to shift the plan from its exciting place in my head, to its physical state often times ends up overwhelming me, and thus many of my best laid plans never get set into motion. This is what I term, FRUSTRATING.

Knowing that this is a pattern in my behavior, I am faced with a choice. I can choose to continue to be overwhelmed and feel sorry for myself and not do all the things I want to do, or I can change my behavior so that the things that I want to do and that excite and ignite me don’t overwhelm me.

I choose the later.  Making the choice to change my behavior feels great, and I already feel like I’ve accomplished something, which is pretty cool. The real work is still ahead of me, which is to determine specifically what behaviors I want to change and why it’s important to make those changes, in order to honor this choice and ultimately accomplish my numerous desired action plans.  What is coming up for me first, is to create a list of priorities, because I know I work really well when I have a physical list that I can see and that I can actually cross things off once I’ve completed them.   For the time being, this feels like enough to get me moving in the right direction, because I also know that if I set out to make too many changes all at once, I will freak out and lose my motivation. 

 Here are some questions that I have found myself thinking about:

What patterns in your life are you aware of that limit you in accomplishing what you desire?

What encourages you to change behaviors that do not serve you?

How will it feel to live in alignment with what ‘s important to you?

 

I hope you all had a great holiday weekend, and feel refreshed to move forward.

Talia

Get up and go

So to say that business has been slow, is a bit of an understatement. When I set out to start my business as a life coach, I knew that I would face challenges of starting a new business, but I never anticipated such a drastic down turn in the economy. In order to stay afloat, I am finding the need to be extremely resourceful in my marketing tactics, and slowly it’s paying off. 

What is helping me the most is asking for what I want, and focusing my energy and intention towards that goal of gaining new clients.  In coaching there is a model that we use in order to set the ball in motion of getting what we want, it’s called the I+A=M model or the Intention + Attention = Manifestation.

Right now my intention is to gain new clients so that I can promote my business and so that I can help people live fulfilled lives.  I stay positive, and continue to seek out new ways to introduce coaching to all who are willing to listen. I am also taking advantage of this down time to focus on my well-being.  I know that I am only able to give my best when I feel my best.  I have a choice every day when I wake up, I can sit around and wait for client’s to fall into my lap, which hasn’t really happened yet, or I can choose to be active in promoting myself and continue to model living a fulfilled life for myself and for my potential clients. When I am clear on my intention, and why it’s important to me, focusing my attention towards my goal becomes easy and gratifying.

So yeah, things are tough right now and they are tough for everyone.  I believe that what I have to offer the world is so valuable that I am motivated and encouraged to do all that I can to get business. I also believe that it is important to give a little to get a little.  

Here are a few things to think about:

Where in your life are you focusing your attention?

If you could ask for what you want, what would you ask for?

How do you support yourself when you feel down?

How do you find motivation to get up and go?

 

I hope you are all well, and enjoying life. It is finally summer here in Seattle, which is pretty nice if you ask me.

 

I invite you to share your thoughts on the blog, let’s get a conversation started.

Talia

 

Barking up the right tree

For the past month and a half I have been in the decision making process of getting a puppy, and this last week, I sealed the deal and picked up my precious little puppy.  I have wanted a puppy for as long as I can remember, and many times in the past I had been very close to getting one, but my intuition always kicked in and told me that I was not ready for such a life altering commitment. Throughout the process of deciding if this was a good choice for me to make or not, many issues surfaced that that really surprised me. For instance the main fear that I was having about getting a puppy was that with this choice I would lose all my flexibility and freedom.  Another issue that came to the surface was that of commitment.

The issue of making the commitment struck me hard. The belief that was operating beneath the surface was that since I had failed in staying in a committed relationship with a person, I began to believe that I could not commit to a dog.  After some good coaching and thinking on the subject of commitment, I came to realize that I was scaring myself out of opportunity and unconditional love.  I was displacing my failed relationship, which failed many many years ago, onto my current self and current life, and thankfully I have grown enormously since then, and those fears no longer serve me. Instead of fearing the commitment, I embraced it and choose to look at getting Lulu, my puppy, as a stepping-stone to learning what it means to be committed to something that will be there for me no matter what. The positives strongly out weighed the negatives in concerning this issue.  Realizing that getting a dog would undoubtedly change my life, I decided that I was ready to welcome the challenges with an open heart and sense of maturity that had been lacking from my life.

I have had Lulu, for not even a week, and the amount of love and joy I get from her is immeasurable. I am recognizing many hidden talents and strengths, like the ability to be deep in a conversation, and from the corner of my eye see that Lulu is eating my sandals, and that I actually don’t’ need as much sleep as I thought I did.  Thus far I am delighted with my decision, and I cannot see that shifting.

I am pretty sure that having Lulu, in my life will also fuel many a blog posts, so stay tuned.

 

The questions I have for you are these:

What are you denying yourself out of fear?

What are the costs of you’re denying?

When you listen to your intuition, are you really denying yourself?

How do you know when you are ready for a life altering decision?

Alright, I am headed out for the evening, which means Lulu will be in her crate…neither one of us are big fans of this..wish us luck!

 

I can’t wait to hear from you all,

Talia

 

The power of good intentions

The other day I watched my friend give her mom a beautiful bouquet of flowers, for no other reason than to say, “Mom, I love you and I’m excited to spend the weekend with you.”  I too was touched by this gesture, and since I was away for the weekend, I decided to call my mom, dad, and sister and say hello, just to let them know that I was thinking about them.

The simple act of giving flowers, showing gratitude, saying hello for the sake of saying hello, or even bringing someone a glass of water when they have not asked for it are all acts of thoughtfulness. Being thoughtful is a value that I honor and appreciate greatly.  When I witness acts of thoughtfulness, I am reminded of the power of good intentions... small actions have huge impacts.

In truth, I have not felt as though I have been very thoughtful lately.  So what does it mean for me to be thoughtful and how do I get back to feeling as though I am honoring this value in my life? In order for me to be thoughtful, it’s important for me to slow the pace of my life down, so that I have the opportunity to see the people in my life.  When I am rushing through life and don’t have enough time to think clearly about myself, there is no way I can begin to think clearly or thoughtfully for others.  So in order to be thoughtful towards others, I choose to be thoughtful towards myself, and then share the goodness with others.

What I love so much about being thoughtful is that you don’t have to be rich, just kind.  When someone bestows thoughtfulness upon me, I feel so loved.  The feeling of knowing that someone is thinking of me outside of being right in front of me is really nice.   I have a little smile on my face right now thinking about all the little thoughtful things that I can do…and yep, it feels good to do good.

So my questions for you all are these:

What has been the most impactful act of thoughtfulness that you have received?

How do you feel when you are thoughtful?

What are some simple ways to integrate more thoughtful behavior in your life?

What are your ‘go to’ acts of thoughtfulness?

I hope you all are well, and getting back into the swing of things after the long weekend.  Please share your thoughts on the topic, I’m curious as to how this shows up in your life.

 

Talia

I hate it when I do that

So, I have not been a very good blogger lately, and I don't like it.  I created this blog to share the simple art of coaching with the world and hopefully get some new clients out of the deal, and my lack of attention to this aspect of my coaching business is not what I want. So what is the question that is begging to be asked...What do I want? I want this blog to be fun, fun to write to, and fun for people to visit. For a little while there, I lost sight of how much I enjoy sitting down and being with my thoughts, and then sending them out into the big world for you all to read, and I can confidently say that even this exercise of admitting my lack of commitment, has ignited my desire to post at least two times a week.  

The questions that are coming to my mind right now are these:

What joy are you missing out on by putting something off?

How do you break a non-productive pattern?

What will you do when you feel the pattern creeping back in?

I would love to hear from you all, I hope all is well.

Thanks for sticking with me and enjoy the three day weekend!

Talia

I'm letting it go...and it's all good.

As a coach, it is my job to be unattached to the outcome.  When I first started practicing this skill, I often felt like I was walking a thin line between apathy, which is not something that comes naturally to me, and conscious unattachment.  I can say, with a great deal of confidence that I have become very skilled at remaining curious and unattached to the choices that my clients make, but I often times struggle to be unattached to the outcomes in my own life.

Clearly, I care a great deal about my life, and where I am headed, so to say that I am unattached to my outcome is false. But what is true, is that I find myself getting so wrapped up in what I think is supposed to happen or in my expectations, meaning that I am focused on the future, that I sometimes miss the opportunities that are staring me right in my face in the present moment. 

When I am coaching I support my client’s choices and encourage them to seek out a deeper awareness as to what is driving them to make the decisions that they choose to make, but when it comes to supporting myself, I often times put an enormous amount of pressure on myself and thus create unrealistic expectations.   What I have learned about unrealistic expectations is that from the get go, I am setting myself up for disappointment… and that is not what I want in my life.  So in order to walk the walk and talk the talk, it is important to me to remain gentle with myself, stay flexible, and welcome the unexpected. What I have experienced, when I am able to be unattached, is that life presents opportunities that in my wildest dreams I could never conjure up. Practicing the art of being here now, and experiencing life as it happens, is blowing my mind and opening me up to new and exciting aspects of my life that have been untapped for some while now.

My questions to you all are these:

What does being unattachment mean to you?

How are your expectations limiting you?

If you could harness all the energy that you put towards future thoughts, what would you do with it?

What does it feel like to be present?

 

 

I hope you all are having a great start to your weekend, and I look forward to hearing from you.

 

Talia

 

I'm taking it back...all of it.

I associate memories and periods of time in my life with music, and more often than not those songs are associated with people. Over the course of the past few years, I have grown apart form some very significant people in my life, and in turn attempted to suppress our memories by not listening to the music I once loved.  

The other day I was listening to a random mix of music, and a song came on that was a serious memory trigger.  My initial response was to skip the song, and then something interesting happened.  I got a little bit angry.  The thoughts that were running through my head were something like this… “This is crazy, this is just a song, if you want to listen to it, listen to it. Why are you allowing someone in your past to have this much control over you...still! GET OVER IT”.   So I did.  I played the song that once made my heart ache, and decided that it would no longer have that effect on me.  Instead, I choose to listen to the song with a fresh perspective and enjoy it for what it was, just a good song.

It was really interesting for me to think about this further.  I had been allowing my past, to own my present, and I am so over that.  What was happening to me was when those songs came on, that initiated the memories, I got sad or I started to replay the past, which I have found rarely accomplishes much of anything.  So in my taking ownership of how I want to perceive these songs in the future, I really did myself a service in moving forward with my life.

My questions to you are these:

What are you not enjoying in your life because you’re trying to avoid what it once represented?

What will you gain from reclaiming what you once loved?

How will eliminating negative associations change who you are?

 

I am really curious to hear from you all on this one.  I too am in the process of seeing if there are other areas in my life where I have conceded what I once loved in order to forget the sad parts of my past.

 

I hope you are all well.

Talia

 

Wait, did that just happen?

I am still in disbelief of this whole scenario, and I am hoping by putting it out there for you all, together we can make sense of it. I cannot remember the last time someone was outwardly mean or malicious towards me, and last night was apparently my refresher course. The details of what transpired are not really important, but what is important is how I am choosing to deal with what I am feeling.  

Initially, I was so caught off guard by the fact that adults could so easily act like children in the midst of a temper tantrum, that I was somewhat amused, but after the initial shock wore off, I began to realize that despite the absurdity of the whole situation my feelings were hurt, initially.

Logically, I know that what when someone goes out of their way to minimize someone else, it rarely has anything to do with the person who is intended to be hurt and humiliated, and everything to do with the fact that the person doing the hurting is so low that they must bring others down in order to feel better about themselves. I do firmly believe that what happened to me last night was not about me, but rather about someone trying to make themselves bigger by knocking me down. Well, you know what I say to that? Try again.  I am so proud of who I am and of how I choose to show up in the world, that mean-spirited people cannot derail me.

In the light of day, I am realizing that my hurt feelings are coming more from a place of feeling sorry for this person and not because I am internalizing what was said to me.  I choose to see the good in people and want to surround myself with like-minded folk, and last night was a reminder that not everyone is good and it is important for me to be cautious.

My questions for you this morning are these:

When people cut you down, how do you choose to respond?

What is important for you to remember when you find yourself in a situation like this?

What is the grander lesson here?

I hope you are all enjoying your weekend, hope to hear from you,

Talia

 

 

 

Finish what I’ve started….

This past week I have had the time to reflect on many aspects of my life that are incomplete. The list of incomplete projects, relationships, and thoughts seem endless, which stresses me out.  For a long time it has been easier for me not to address the incomplete things in my life and continue on as if life is all good, but I can only fool myself for so long. 

What I have come to realize is that when there are items left incomplete in my life, I tend to be irritable, stressed, and I more often than not end up getting sick.  So the cost of putting off what is important to me is hefty.   I recently created a list of all the things in my life that are incomplete.  My list included things like, cleaning out my closet and basement, journaling about a specific relationship, sending a friends’ wedding gift, reading several books, and so on.  With the exception of a few items, my extensive list once prioritized, seems to be rather manageable. 

What is most important to me is to set myself up for success in terms of actually accomplishing these tasks. So I am going to be realistic with my timeline for each item, and I know for me I work best when I focus on one particular task before moving to the next.

When I am thinking about completion/ closure I find myself asking these questions:

How is it going to feel once completion/closure is in place?

What is holding me back from finishing what I have started?

Once I have completed a task, where will I put my energy?

What I am afraid of?

I hope these questions help you to recognize the power that completion can have.  I welcome your thoughts and insights. If you find that you don’t even know where to start, or that your list seems like too much, let me know…I can help.

Have a great day,

Talia 

Ah…Instant gratification

There are very few ways in life to really achieve instant gratification, and for one reason or another, sometimes it is all that I want. The reasons for wanting instant gratification are complex.  I find that I seek out instant gratification when I feel less than in control of my life, and it is a way for me to regain control, feel good about myself, and gain a sense of accomplishment.

When I am feeling the urge to work very little and feel like I’ve done quite a bit, I usually find myself vacuuming. I love that I can vacuum for five minutes and on the surface my house looks all spiffy and clean. Now, I am very aware that instant gratification is a mask for some deeper issues, and I am pretty in touch with those issues, but seriously sometimes I just don’t want to go there.  There are so many reasons for me to feel down and sometimes discouraged with different things in my life, and I will take most any opportunity to feel good…even if its from vacuuming.

What do you do when you are feeling a little down in order to turn things around for yourself?

Do you recognize when it’s important to dig deeper and solve why instant gratification is something you’re craving?

What does instant gratification mask for you?

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend,

Talia

What’s it gonna take?

The economy sucks, and we’re all feeling it, and all the while we are all trying to move forward and keep our lives full of happiness, choice, and security.  As a coach, I am finding that many of my clients are taking this opportunity to really shift their focus from the necessity of their jobs to how do I make my job fulfilling and something that can sustain me?  I have had my fair share of jobs that absolutely sucked the life force out of me. And when I think back to those times in my life, aside from being miserable and feeling slightly helpless,  I relied on my mentors to help me see my way out of those situations and help me create new opportunities for myself.  

So my questions to you all are these:

How many of you are working a job, that is not fulfilling?

What is your dream job? And what is it going to take for you to start to move forward towards your happiness?

What is stopping you from creating your our ideal life?

If any of this resonates with you, and or you are looking to find some more clarity in any aspect of your life, please give me a call. It’s my job to help my clients move forward and see results.

Here’s to a partially sunny day in Seattle,

Talia

 

Hating What I Love

For the past few months, I have been very committed to maintaining my health physically, and thus mentally, and it’s been fairly evident. These past few weeks, however, with my schedule changing a bit and with a lack of motivation, I have seriously slacked off.  I woke up this morning not feeling 100%, but determined to work out today.

All morning long I have come up reasons as to why working out today is not a good idea, like I’m so tired I won’t be able to do what I normally do, I know I can’t run today and being at the gym is going to frustrate me, and if I’m not feeling well shouldn’t I just stay home and take care of myself? All those are pretty valid and truthful, but what I do know is that by the simple act of getting dressed and driving myself to the gym, I am breaking the habit of sitting at home and whining about not working out. 

My goal today is to make it to the gym. I am not expecting that I can run, or lift as much weight as I know I’m capable of, or even stay that long.  But knowing that I will have gotten out of the house and followed through on what I said I was going to do, is enough for me to feel good about myself, and will be enough to help get back on track.  It is truly amazing how powerful and persuasive negative self-talk can be.  I know for a fact that when I work out I feel better in all areas of my life, yet I am so quick to disregard those feelings when I am feeling a bit lazy.

My questions for you are these:

Where in your life does negative self-talk keep you from doing what you know you love?

How do you break the cycle, of what I am terming laziness, and get yourself make on track?

What are the things in your life that you love?

Ok, I am going to get dressed and head to the gym…wish me luck.

Have a great weekend, and please feel free to share your thoughts.

Talia

As Luck Would Have It

I have had a group of three girl friends since the 7^th grade, which I consider to be my closest friends in the world. Over the past 15 years, the four of us have done many things in different corners of the world, but we have always had Seattle as our center point. That is about to change, and it’s kind of rocking my world.  In the next two weeks all but one of us, me, are going to be out of the country. We will be spread across the globe, in Italy, in Africa, Chile, and in Seattle, and I am feeling sad.  

I honestly can’t remember a time when at least two of us were not here in Seattle, and now I will be the lone member of our tribe holding down the fort.  I realize that this may all sound a little dramatic, but in truth, these friends mean everything to me. I have been very lucky to meet new and wonderful friends to add to my friend bag, but there is a sense of unconditional love and support that I have grown accustom to with my travelling compadres, and I’m feeling a sense of loss in their departures.  And really I am feeling bummed that I’m not going away and doing something equally fabulous abroad, (which I have done before, but I was never left behind).

As I am sitting here thinking how I can stop feeling sorry for myself, I am finding that this is an opportunity to for me to be creative, in how I communicate with my worldly friends.  Maybe we can set up a blog just for the four of us?  However we choose to stay in touch, I know that it is important for me to feel connected to them especially when they are gone.

I’m curious as to how you have maintained long distance relationships with friends?

What is most important in maintaining relationships?

Please feel free to share your thoughts.

Cheers to the beginning of a new week,

Talia

 

 

For What It's Worth

This past week has come and gone, and the weekend is almost here. I love my weekends, like I’m sure most of you do, but this weekend is not very restful.  In fact, I have over committed myself and said yes to too many things, which in turn has let some of my closest friend’s down. For this I am very sorry.  I am very reliable, and when I say yes to something, I follow through. There is no remedy to this situation that will make it all ok, so I am now in the position of going back on my word, and I feel extremely guilty.

This feeling of guilt although justifiable, is not a feeling that I like. So how do I shake this feeling, while acknowledging that it’s real? I think I just answered my own question. I am feeling guilty because my actions were not in alignment with my values, and I recognize that, and all I can do is act differently in the future.

Knowing that my friends know who I am, and that I am not typically someone who is flaky, I am trusting that they will see the situation for what it is, and together we can all move forward from here.  In a way I am thankful for this scenario that I have created for myself, because it so clearly validates that this is not a way in which I want to live my life.

The questions that I will be thinking about this weekend are these:

What process do I go through to forgive myself?

How do I forgive others?

What can I do to prevent this situation from happening in the future?

 

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend, and honor who you all are.

Talia

p.s. Ladies, I’m very sorry.

Say it cause you mean it.

I am so blessed to have people in my life who love and support me without question. I sometimes feel overwhelmed, in a good way, by their commitment to our relationship and find myself questioning how I am so lucky. But the fact is, that I am lucky and my friends and family mean the world to me.  It is extremely important to me that the people in my life, who mean the most to me, know it.  So I am setting the intention to share my gratitude with my loved ones, so that they know that their presence in my life is recognized and truly appreciated. 

Here are my questions to you all:

How would it feel to receive a phone call from a friend, who just wanted to thank you for being a good friend?

What can you do to show your gratitude?

How will sharing your feelings with important people in your life, impact your relationships?

 

Have fun with this one, and please let me know how it goes for you!

Too Many Pens

I was sitting at my desk this morning pondering my next post, I found myself staring blankly towards my numerous well organized and overly full pen holders (there are three of them, with probably 50 or more pens in total).  Wondering what I was going to write, and feeling slightly frustrated with my lack of creativity, I picked up my favorite pen and started playing with it.  Now you maybe thinking what is Talia's favorite pen? Well, I'll tell you, it's a black ball point gen pen...ordinary, standard, and reliable.  I have always loved pens and frequently buy new ones, whether or not I need them, thus why I have 50+ pens on my desk and only use one or two.

In the moments of thinking about what to write and coming to terms with the fact that I have way too many pens that I don't use, I realized that my pen obsession, while fairly innocent, is not really serving me in a positive way. Instead of being useful, my pen collection has become excessive, and slightly humorous. What I like about my pens is that I have tons of options, regardless to if I choose to use them or not. However, I have found that often times in my life when I am in situations with too many options, I often times freak out and choose what is comfortable and safe, thus my favorite black pen. Now don't get me wrong, I love trying new things, I just want less stress in the decision making process.  Today, I am going to stream line my pen collection and pick a handful of pens to live on my desk that each serve a purpose, and get rid of the rest.   I have a feeling that if I looked at other areas in my life I would discover this same pattern, in fact I know it. Now let's be honest, I am not getting rid of my shoe collection, it's not going to happen...at least not today, but I will clear some space on my desk and for today, that feels pretty good.

Think about these questions:

Where in your life are you holding on to excessive stuff?

Where in your life are too many options inhibiting you from making a clear and intentional choices?

Let me know what you think...I bet we will all be surprised our commonalities. 

Standing Strong

This past weekend I found myself in a rather uncomfortable situation.  The details of what actually made me uncomfortable are not important, but how I handled myself and how I choose to deal with this situation is extremely important.  I have spent a considerable amount of time and energy connecting to and readjusting my core beliefs and values, so that I am living my life in alignment.  Out of this process I have come to recognize and appreciate who I am and who I want to be, thus I make choices to support my current values and beliefs.  When I was presented with the option of compromising who I am and what I stand for, there was absolutely no hesitation on my part to stand strong and continue to honor myself.

I wish I could say that this was the first time a situation like this has arisen, in which my values and beliefs have been challenged, and furthermore, I wish I could say that it will be the last.  But to look at this realistically, I know with certainty that I will be faced with and challenged by what the future has in store for me. However, with a strong and centered sense of self and with the commitment to honor myself, I have no doubts that I will address whatever is to come with confidence, courage and grace.  The questions that are presenting themselves to me around this issue are these:

How does it feel to live your life truthfully?

When you compromise your values, who are you serving?

I would love to open this discussion up and I invite you to share your thoughts. I hope all is well, and here's to a fresh perspective on the remaining days of the week.

Cleaning out the Fridge

On the rare occasion that I find something lingering in my fridge that is well past its expiration date, I throw it away without much hesitation.  In fact, I usually shy away from it, in case it’s totally gross, and feel quite satisfied and cleansed once its gone. I sometimes beat myself up and question why I wasted whatever it was, and furthermore I ask myself if I really wanted it in my fridge in the first place.  The answer the later question, is usually no, I didn’t really want it, thus I forgot about it.

I am finding that right now in my life there are many things that are showing up as well past their expiration dates. However, I am not so skilled at throwing these things away.  Now to be honest these things seem bit more complex than yogurt, but maybe they’re not?  If I really asked myself the right questions, maybe I would find some ease and peace in this cleansing.  One of my issues that I’m dealing with, is letting go of is a relationship that I have held on to for way too long. And after asking myself whether or not I really wanted this relationship in the first place, coming from the most honest depths of my being, the answer is no.  So why is it still so hard to let go of? I know that getting rid of things that have turned out to be bad will only support me in furthering myself, but in the short term, the disappointment still stings a bit.  So out of this whole situation, I am taking away a greater appreciation for myself, and a more solid understanding of my worth. In moving forward, the questions that keep presenting themselves to me are these: What do I really want? And how do I stay strong during this process?

What in your life is past is past its expiration date? And what is the cost of holding on to it?

Sturctured Spontaneity

This week marks my sixth year coaching high school girl’s lacrosse. Over the past few years my life has begun to settle and feel a bit more organized and balanced, now that I have a career, a mortgage, and full life here in Seattle. However, the beginning of the lacrosse season never fails to throw my schedule and life into a bit of a tailspin. For the longest time I was resistant in creating a schedule or admitting that I wanted structure in my life.  I loved the idea, and still do love the idea, that I could somehow manage all the different balls in my life without following a set plan.

Now to be honest, I am a fairly adapt at surviving chaos, but at what cost? The cost has been my sanity and my sense of balance. When my life is, what I term crazy, I feel anxious, stressed, and slightly out of control.  When my life is in balance, I feel calm, motivated, and in control.  In the realization that I function at my highest level when in balance, I was faced with the choice of creating a schedule or continuing to fly by the seat of my pants and hope for the best.

I opted for the schedule.  My initial reaction to the word schedule is not a positive one; in fact it is quite negative.  Initially I believed that adhering to a schedule would limit me in my freedom and make me boring. But to my surprise I have found the complete opposite to be true. I love being efficient and organized.  In the ritual that I have created for my self of planning out my week and seeing where I have free time (I literally write out all my appointments and mark my free time in a calendar), I have created peace and space in my life. The space that I have created is still mine to do with as I please, but it is designated as such and is thus rarely wasted.  I know for myself, that it is important for me to visually map out my week in order to follow my schedule. I also constantly remind myself to say flexible, and allow for the unexpected. Life never goes according to plan, and in the moments of going with the flow, often times freedom and spontaneity present wonderful and fun opportunities.

When I find myself not feeling connected to my schedule or simply not wanting to make a schedule, I ask myself these questions: Where in my life am I taking full advantage of my time? Where in my life am I not taking advantage of my time?   What is important for me to create time for?

I hope you all have a great weekend!

And away we go...

This is my first posting to any blog, and to be honest, I'm a little nervous. What am I nervous about? Everything. I'm nervous about the fact that this blog has the potential to reach millions of people, and that I could potentially sound like an idiot. I'm nervous that no one will read my blog, I'm nervous for the typos that will undoubtedly flow from my finger tips, and lastly, I'm scared of putting myself out there. But what I do know, is that fear is debilitating, and I do not want to live in fear. So with that said, here I go. As I sit here thinking about what this blog means to me and what it means to move beyond my fear, I find myself being curious as to where else in my life is fear stopping me from moving forward? To some of you, posting on a blog may seem effortless and easy, and you maybe saying to yourself, "Wow, I can't believe she's scared of this..." But my question for you is, where in your life is fear holding you back? Please feel free to play with this idea, and I am looking forward to hearing from you.