A good reminder…

I like to pride myself on being a good friend and communicating well with all people, but sometimes it is most difficult to tell someone close to you the truth out of fear…. What is that fear all about?

 I just got off the phone with one of my dearest friends, and I was reminded of the power of direct communication.  I got myself into a situation with this person where I ended up causing her stress and basically I was rude to her because I couldn’t communicate with her directly.  Finally we talked after a week of missed phone calls and numerous e-mails, and hopefully we have sorted it all out and hopefully this won’t have a lasting effect on our relationship.

Why is it so difficult to speak the truth?  What makes communicating directly sometimes so uncomfortable?  In retrospect, I wish I had spoken the truth form the get go, and told my friend that travelling this past weekend was not going to work for me, and instead I lead her to believe that I was going to make the trip happen, thus she delayed making her plans and ended up feeling like I was blowing her off and that I didn’t appreciate all that she was doing to make sure we got a chance to see each other.  None of this is true of course, but since I left her no option but to create a story in her own head, this is now the situation I find myself in.

Thankfully, she had the courage to speak directly to me, and tell me how upset she was and how all she wanted was for me to be honest in the first place. I would have save both of us so much energy if I could have just been upfront from the get-go.

There are other areas in my life where direct communication is a challenge for me and I think I have figured out why that is…I don’t like to disappoint people and confrontation makes me uncomfortable.  Naming those two fears feels good, and there is still plenty of work for me to do around this issue. This was a good reminder for me…I want people to be honest with me all the time, no matter what, I want to be able to give that back in return.

What helps you to speak the truth?

What stops you from direct communication?

What do you appreciate most about direct communication?

Please share your thoughts on the topic; I know I’m interested in what you have to say.

 Talia

 

 

Changing things up

After a wonderful long weekend spent with great friends, I am finding it a bit difficult to settle back into my daily routine. One reason this is proving to be difficult is due to the fact that all of a sudden I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by all that I want to accomplish, both for my business and personally. Stepping outside of my routine gave me the opportunity to see my life without being in it per se, thus allowing me the time and space to mentally organize it and create several action plans.

Action plans, in theory, really excite me, and for some reason the steps it takes to shift the plan from its exciting place in my head, to its physical state often times ends up overwhelming me, and thus many of my best laid plans never get set into motion. This is what I term, FRUSTRATING.

Knowing that this is a pattern in my behavior, I am faced with a choice. I can choose to continue to be overwhelmed and feel sorry for myself and not do all the things I want to do, or I can change my behavior so that the things that I want to do and that excite and ignite me don’t overwhelm me.

I choose the later.  Making the choice to change my behavior feels great, and I already feel like I’ve accomplished something, which is pretty cool. The real work is still ahead of me, which is to determine specifically what behaviors I want to change and why it’s important to make those changes, in order to honor this choice and ultimately accomplish my numerous desired action plans.  What is coming up for me first, is to create a list of priorities, because I know I work really well when I have a physical list that I can see and that I can actually cross things off once I’ve completed them.   For the time being, this feels like enough to get me moving in the right direction, because I also know that if I set out to make too many changes all at once, I will freak out and lose my motivation. 

 Here are some questions that I have found myself thinking about:

What patterns in your life are you aware of that limit you in accomplishing what you desire?

What encourages you to change behaviors that do not serve you?

How will it feel to live in alignment with what ‘s important to you?

 

I hope you all had a great holiday weekend, and feel refreshed to move forward.

Talia