What’s it gonna take?

The economy sucks, and we’re all feeling it, and all the while we are all trying to move forward and keep our lives full of happiness, choice, and security.  As a coach, I am finding that many of my clients are taking this opportunity to really shift their focus from the necessity of their jobs to how do I make my job fulfilling and something that can sustain me?  I have had my fair share of jobs that absolutely sucked the life force out of me. And when I think back to those times in my life, aside from being miserable and feeling slightly helpless,  I relied on my mentors to help me see my way out of those situations and help me create new opportunities for myself.  

So my questions to you all are these:

How many of you are working a job, that is not fulfilling?

What is your dream job? And what is it going to take for you to start to move forward towards your happiness?

What is stopping you from creating your our ideal life?

If any of this resonates with you, and or you are looking to find some more clarity in any aspect of your life, please give me a call. It’s my job to help my clients move forward and see results.

Here’s to a partially sunny day in Seattle,

Talia

 

Hating What I Love

For the past few months, I have been very committed to maintaining my health physically, and thus mentally, and it’s been fairly evident. These past few weeks, however, with my schedule changing a bit and with a lack of motivation, I have seriously slacked off.  I woke up this morning not feeling 100%, but determined to work out today.

All morning long I have come up reasons as to why working out today is not a good idea, like I’m so tired I won’t be able to do what I normally do, I know I can’t run today and being at the gym is going to frustrate me, and if I’m not feeling well shouldn’t I just stay home and take care of myself? All those are pretty valid and truthful, but what I do know is that by the simple act of getting dressed and driving myself to the gym, I am breaking the habit of sitting at home and whining about not working out. 

My goal today is to make it to the gym. I am not expecting that I can run, or lift as much weight as I know I’m capable of, or even stay that long.  But knowing that I will have gotten out of the house and followed through on what I said I was going to do, is enough for me to feel good about myself, and will be enough to help get back on track.  It is truly amazing how powerful and persuasive negative self-talk can be.  I know for a fact that when I work out I feel better in all areas of my life, yet I am so quick to disregard those feelings when I am feeling a bit lazy.

My questions for you are these:

Where in your life does negative self-talk keep you from doing what you know you love?

How do you break the cycle, of what I am terming laziness, and get yourself make on track?

What are the things in your life that you love?

Ok, I am going to get dressed and head to the gym…wish me luck.

Have a great weekend, and please feel free to share your thoughts.

Talia

As Luck Would Have It

I have had a group of three girl friends since the 7^th grade, which I consider to be my closest friends in the world. Over the past 15 years, the four of us have done many things in different corners of the world, but we have always had Seattle as our center point. That is about to change, and it’s kind of rocking my world.  In the next two weeks all but one of us, me, are going to be out of the country. We will be spread across the globe, in Italy, in Africa, Chile, and in Seattle, and I am feeling sad.  

I honestly can’t remember a time when at least two of us were not here in Seattle, and now I will be the lone member of our tribe holding down the fort.  I realize that this may all sound a little dramatic, but in truth, these friends mean everything to me. I have been very lucky to meet new and wonderful friends to add to my friend bag, but there is a sense of unconditional love and support that I have grown accustom to with my travelling compadres, and I’m feeling a sense of loss in their departures.  And really I am feeling bummed that I’m not going away and doing something equally fabulous abroad, (which I have done before, but I was never left behind).

As I am sitting here thinking how I can stop feeling sorry for myself, I am finding that this is an opportunity to for me to be creative, in how I communicate with my worldly friends.  Maybe we can set up a blog just for the four of us?  However we choose to stay in touch, I know that it is important for me to feel connected to them especially when they are gone.

I’m curious as to how you have maintained long distance relationships with friends?

What is most important in maintaining relationships?

Please feel free to share your thoughts.

Cheers to the beginning of a new week,

Talia

 

 

For What It's Worth

This past week has come and gone, and the weekend is almost here. I love my weekends, like I’m sure most of you do, but this weekend is not very restful.  In fact, I have over committed myself and said yes to too many things, which in turn has let some of my closest friend’s down. For this I am very sorry.  I am very reliable, and when I say yes to something, I follow through. There is no remedy to this situation that will make it all ok, so I am now in the position of going back on my word, and I feel extremely guilty.

This feeling of guilt although justifiable, is not a feeling that I like. So how do I shake this feeling, while acknowledging that it’s real? I think I just answered my own question. I am feeling guilty because my actions were not in alignment with my values, and I recognize that, and all I can do is act differently in the future.

Knowing that my friends know who I am, and that I am not typically someone who is flaky, I am trusting that they will see the situation for what it is, and together we can all move forward from here.  In a way I am thankful for this scenario that I have created for myself, because it so clearly validates that this is not a way in which I want to live my life.

The questions that I will be thinking about this weekend are these:

What process do I go through to forgive myself?

How do I forgive others?

What can I do to prevent this situation from happening in the future?

 

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend, and honor who you all are.

Talia

p.s. Ladies, I’m very sorry.

Say it cause you mean it.

I am so blessed to have people in my life who love and support me without question. I sometimes feel overwhelmed, in a good way, by their commitment to our relationship and find myself questioning how I am so lucky. But the fact is, that I am lucky and my friends and family mean the world to me.  It is extremely important to me that the people in my life, who mean the most to me, know it.  So I am setting the intention to share my gratitude with my loved ones, so that they know that their presence in my life is recognized and truly appreciated. 

Here are my questions to you all:

How would it feel to receive a phone call from a friend, who just wanted to thank you for being a good friend?

What can you do to show your gratitude?

How will sharing your feelings with important people in your life, impact your relationships?

 

Have fun with this one, and please let me know how it goes for you!

Too Many Pens

I was sitting at my desk this morning pondering my next post, I found myself staring blankly towards my numerous well organized and overly full pen holders (there are three of them, with probably 50 or more pens in total).  Wondering what I was going to write, and feeling slightly frustrated with my lack of creativity, I picked up my favorite pen and started playing with it.  Now you maybe thinking what is Talia's favorite pen? Well, I'll tell you, it's a black ball point gen pen...ordinary, standard, and reliable.  I have always loved pens and frequently buy new ones, whether or not I need them, thus why I have 50+ pens on my desk and only use one or two.

In the moments of thinking about what to write and coming to terms with the fact that I have way too many pens that I don't use, I realized that my pen obsession, while fairly innocent, is not really serving me in a positive way. Instead of being useful, my pen collection has become excessive, and slightly humorous. What I like about my pens is that I have tons of options, regardless to if I choose to use them or not. However, I have found that often times in my life when I am in situations with too many options, I often times freak out and choose what is comfortable and safe, thus my favorite black pen. Now don't get me wrong, I love trying new things, I just want less stress in the decision making process.  Today, I am going to stream line my pen collection and pick a handful of pens to live on my desk that each serve a purpose, and get rid of the rest.   I have a feeling that if I looked at other areas in my life I would discover this same pattern, in fact I know it. Now let's be honest, I am not getting rid of my shoe collection, it's not going to happen...at least not today, but I will clear some space on my desk and for today, that feels pretty good.

Think about these questions:

Where in your life are you holding on to excessive stuff?

Where in your life are too many options inhibiting you from making a clear and intentional choices?

Let me know what you think...I bet we will all be surprised our commonalities. 

Standing Strong

This past weekend I found myself in a rather uncomfortable situation.  The details of what actually made me uncomfortable are not important, but how I handled myself and how I choose to deal with this situation is extremely important.  I have spent a considerable amount of time and energy connecting to and readjusting my core beliefs and values, so that I am living my life in alignment.  Out of this process I have come to recognize and appreciate who I am and who I want to be, thus I make choices to support my current values and beliefs.  When I was presented with the option of compromising who I am and what I stand for, there was absolutely no hesitation on my part to stand strong and continue to honor myself.

I wish I could say that this was the first time a situation like this has arisen, in which my values and beliefs have been challenged, and furthermore, I wish I could say that it will be the last.  But to look at this realistically, I know with certainty that I will be faced with and challenged by what the future has in store for me. However, with a strong and centered sense of self and with the commitment to honor myself, I have no doubts that I will address whatever is to come with confidence, courage and grace.  The questions that are presenting themselves to me around this issue are these:

How does it feel to live your life truthfully?

When you compromise your values, who are you serving?

I would love to open this discussion up and I invite you to share your thoughts. I hope all is well, and here's to a fresh perspective on the remaining days of the week.

Cleaning out the Fridge

On the rare occasion that I find something lingering in my fridge that is well past its expiration date, I throw it away without much hesitation.  In fact, I usually shy away from it, in case it’s totally gross, and feel quite satisfied and cleansed once its gone. I sometimes beat myself up and question why I wasted whatever it was, and furthermore I ask myself if I really wanted it in my fridge in the first place.  The answer the later question, is usually no, I didn’t really want it, thus I forgot about it.

I am finding that right now in my life there are many things that are showing up as well past their expiration dates. However, I am not so skilled at throwing these things away.  Now to be honest these things seem bit more complex than yogurt, but maybe they’re not?  If I really asked myself the right questions, maybe I would find some ease and peace in this cleansing.  One of my issues that I’m dealing with, is letting go of is a relationship that I have held on to for way too long. And after asking myself whether or not I really wanted this relationship in the first place, coming from the most honest depths of my being, the answer is no.  So why is it still so hard to let go of? I know that getting rid of things that have turned out to be bad will only support me in furthering myself, but in the short term, the disappointment still stings a bit.  So out of this whole situation, I am taking away a greater appreciation for myself, and a more solid understanding of my worth. In moving forward, the questions that keep presenting themselves to me are these: What do I really want? And how do I stay strong during this process?

What in your life is past is past its expiration date? And what is the cost of holding on to it?

Sturctured Spontaneity

This week marks my sixth year coaching high school girl’s lacrosse. Over the past few years my life has begun to settle and feel a bit more organized and balanced, now that I have a career, a mortgage, and full life here in Seattle. However, the beginning of the lacrosse season never fails to throw my schedule and life into a bit of a tailspin. For the longest time I was resistant in creating a schedule or admitting that I wanted structure in my life.  I loved the idea, and still do love the idea, that I could somehow manage all the different balls in my life without following a set plan.

Now to be honest, I am a fairly adapt at surviving chaos, but at what cost? The cost has been my sanity and my sense of balance. When my life is, what I term crazy, I feel anxious, stressed, and slightly out of control.  When my life is in balance, I feel calm, motivated, and in control.  In the realization that I function at my highest level when in balance, I was faced with the choice of creating a schedule or continuing to fly by the seat of my pants and hope for the best.

I opted for the schedule.  My initial reaction to the word schedule is not a positive one; in fact it is quite negative.  Initially I believed that adhering to a schedule would limit me in my freedom and make me boring. But to my surprise I have found the complete opposite to be true. I love being efficient and organized.  In the ritual that I have created for my self of planning out my week and seeing where I have free time (I literally write out all my appointments and mark my free time in a calendar), I have created peace and space in my life. The space that I have created is still mine to do with as I please, but it is designated as such and is thus rarely wasted.  I know for myself, that it is important for me to visually map out my week in order to follow my schedule. I also constantly remind myself to say flexible, and allow for the unexpected. Life never goes according to plan, and in the moments of going with the flow, often times freedom and spontaneity present wonderful and fun opportunities.

When I find myself not feeling connected to my schedule or simply not wanting to make a schedule, I ask myself these questions: Where in my life am I taking full advantage of my time? Where in my life am I not taking advantage of my time?   What is important for me to create time for?

I hope you all have a great weekend!

And away we go...

This is my first posting to any blog, and to be honest, I'm a little nervous. What am I nervous about? Everything. I'm nervous about the fact that this blog has the potential to reach millions of people, and that I could potentially sound like an idiot. I'm nervous that no one will read my blog, I'm nervous for the typos that will undoubtedly flow from my finger tips, and lastly, I'm scared of putting myself out there. But what I do know, is that fear is debilitating, and I do not want to live in fear. So with that said, here I go. As I sit here thinking about what this blog means to me and what it means to move beyond my fear, I find myself being curious as to where else in my life is fear stopping me from moving forward? To some of you, posting on a blog may seem effortless and easy, and you maybe saying to yourself, "Wow, I can't believe she's scared of this..." But my question for you is, where in your life is fear holding you back? Please feel free to play with this idea, and I am looking forward to hearing from you.