A good reminder…

I like to pride myself on being a good friend and communicating well with all people, but sometimes it is most difficult to tell someone close to you the truth out of fear…. What is that fear all about?

 I just got off the phone with one of my dearest friends, and I was reminded of the power of direct communication.  I got myself into a situation with this person where I ended up causing her stress and basically I was rude to her because I couldn’t communicate with her directly.  Finally we talked after a week of missed phone calls and numerous e-mails, and hopefully we have sorted it all out and hopefully this won’t have a lasting effect on our relationship.

Why is it so difficult to speak the truth?  What makes communicating directly sometimes so uncomfortable?  In retrospect, I wish I had spoken the truth form the get go, and told my friend that travelling this past weekend was not going to work for me, and instead I lead her to believe that I was going to make the trip happen, thus she delayed making her plans and ended up feeling like I was blowing her off and that I didn’t appreciate all that she was doing to make sure we got a chance to see each other.  None of this is true of course, but since I left her no option but to create a story in her own head, this is now the situation I find myself in.

Thankfully, she had the courage to speak directly to me, and tell me how upset she was and how all she wanted was for me to be honest in the first place. I would have save both of us so much energy if I could have just been upfront from the get-go.

There are other areas in my life where direct communication is a challenge for me and I think I have figured out why that is…I don’t like to disappoint people and confrontation makes me uncomfortable.  Naming those two fears feels good, and there is still plenty of work for me to do around this issue. This was a good reminder for me…I want people to be honest with me all the time, no matter what, I want to be able to give that back in return.

What helps you to speak the truth?

What stops you from direct communication?

What do you appreciate most about direct communication?

Please share your thoughts on the topic; I know I’m interested in what you have to say.

 Talia