The summer has come and gone here in the not so sunny Pacific Northwest, and fall is definitely in the air. For me this summer of was mix of really high highs and the lowest of lows, and at points I found myself emotionally and physically spent. I find myself now, in a place of transition, as the seasons are doing the same. I am taking stock of the past few months and trying to make sense of all that has happened, all the while keeping up with what’s happening now, and preparing for what’s to come. This is not always an easy task.
In order for me to learn from and positively move forward in my life, it is important for me to create time for reflection. I process things slowly, which is good and bad. My life moves at such a random and quick pace, that I sometimes forget that I am still processing something; even though I have seemingly “moved” passed it. This summer I found myself dealing with some issues, that manifested themselves physically in my body, and for quiet some time, I could not figure out what was going on. Finally, when I got to the point of utter frustration with myself, I put myself on a time out in order to clear the air.
What I realized is that I had created a schedule that was too busy for me, and I did it intentionally. I lost someone very important to me this summer, and slowing down meant having to be alone with my thoughts, which I didn’t want to do because my thoughts made me so sad. Eventually, I slowed myself down enough to accept what is and realize that my inability to get better physically and mentally rested on ability to physically and emotionally rest. It was truly amazing, once had a few solid nights of good sleep under my belt and some time to think, I started to feel new energy and peace come back into my life.
I don’t believe that there is a right or a wrong way to process trying life experiences or that there is a time limit to do so, but what I do know is that no matter what is important to go through the pain of situation, in order to move on. I also realized that for me, in times of loss, I really rely on my close friends for support. I found myself asking for help, which is not common for me, and what was most surprising was how willing I was to accept that help without feeling guilty or burdensome. I am in a much better place now both physically and emotionally, and that feels really good. I am still completely devastated by what has happened, however, I am allowing myself to deal with it.
So my questions for you are these:
What is your process of processing?
How do you know when you are processing something?
What does it feel like to ask for help?
If you want to share your thoughts, I’d love to hear them.
Talia
My process for processing is to take a lot of time and let things simmer deep inside. I usually come to an understanding suddenly but not after a good deal of simmering. I ask for help quite often in my daily life but it's usually from people I only know peripherally - perhaps it's safer that way. However, I know deep down that I should be dealing more directly with the key players of my life.
ReplyDeleteThis post really hit home for me. I have been going through some of the same issues with just putting too much on my plate, and then wondering why I feel off, emotionally exhausted, etc. etc. It's hard for me to remove things... let things go, because it's almost like failing.. well that's what i've come to understand. Obviously that understanding is a work in progress. And good for you for asking for help, I know that's hard to do. I've always had a hard time with that as well. It's a pride thing maybe, not sure. Anyway, thanks again for this post. Good food for thought.
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