Sh*t Ain't Easy

The summer has come and gone here in the not so sunny Pacific Northwest, and fall is definitely in the air. For me this summer of was mix of really high highs and the lowest of lows, and at points I found myself emotionally and physically spent. I find myself now, in a place of transition, as the seasons are doing the same. I am taking stock of the past few months and trying to make sense of all that has happened, all the while keeping up with what’s happening now, and preparing for what’s to come. This is not always an easy task.

In order for me to learn from and positively move forward in my life, it is important for me to create time for reflection. I process things slowly, which is good and bad. My life moves at such a random and quick pace, that I sometimes forget that I am still processing something; even though I have seemingly “moved” passed it. This summer I found myself dealing with some issues, that manifested themselves physically in my body, and for quiet some time, I could not figure out what was going on. Finally, when I got to the point of utter frustration with myself, I put myself on a time out in order to clear the air.

What I realized is that I had created a schedule that was too busy for me, and I did it intentionally. I lost someone very important to me this summer, and slowing down meant having to be alone with my thoughts, which I didn’t want to do because my thoughts made me so sad. Eventually, I slowed myself down enough to accept what is and realize that my inability to get better physically and mentally rested on ability to physically and emotionally rest. It was truly amazing, once had a few solid nights of good sleep under my belt and some time to think, I started to feel new energy and peace come back into my life.

I don’t believe that there is a right or a wrong way to process trying life experiences or that there is a time limit to do so, but what I do know is that no matter what is important to go through the pain of situation, in order to move on. I also realized that for me, in times of loss, I really rely on my close friends for support. I found myself asking for help, which is not common for me, and what was most surprising was how willing I was to accept that help without feeling guilty or burdensome. I am in a much better place now both physically and emotionally, and that feels really good. I am still completely devastated by what has happened, however, I am allowing myself to deal with it.

So my questions for you are these:

What is your process of processing?

How do you know when you are processing something?

What does it feel like to ask for help?

If you want to share your thoughts, I’d love to hear them.

Talia

Prioritizing, not so easy….

You know the saying, “easier said than done”, unfortunately I do. As a life coach, I often times fond myself aiding my clients in creating and managing priorities. As an outsider it is easy for me to stay objective and see a path to success, but when the tables are turned and I want something for myself, it’s not so easy to see how it’s all going to come together.

So with this said, there is something that I want real bad, and in order to get what I want, I need a substantial amount of money. Right now, I most certainly do not have the funds to get what I want, so I am faced with an opportunity to shift my priorities and re-evaluate my current priorities and spending patterns. … Big sigh. I don’t really want to take a closer look at my spending habits, because I know what I’m an about to find. I’m about to discover that in order for me to work towards this thing that I really want, a serious overhaul of my behavior in required.

As much as I would like to pretend that I am fiscally responsible, this new priority is allowing the opportunity to discover some truth about myself, and to be honest it’s a little uncomfortable. I am committing to adjusting my current behaviors in order to get what I want, and I’ll admit that it’s not going to be easy for me. What I do know is this, for me to be successful in this mission; I need to create very realistic and achievable goals for myself.

Throughout this process of reprioritizing and shifting behaviors, I will remember to be kind to myself and not to get frustrated. I will also acknowledge my progress and reward myself accordingly, so that I remain committed to the end goal, and enjoy the process. At the end of this mission, I know I’ll be very proud of myself for all the work that I have done…it will be worth it.

Some questions for you:

When’s the last time you examined your priorities?

What are your priorities?

Is there fear in shifting your priorities? If so, where is that fear coming from?

What are you willing to do in order to accomplish what you want?

Stay tuned on my progress and wish me luck!

Hope to hear from you all,

Talia

I'm annoyed at my own behavior.

A few years ago, a very close girl friend of mine, got very irritated with me. There were several issues compounding her irritation, but one that seemed rather petty to me at the time, is now coming back to bite me in the karmic bum. My friend told me that when we were spending time together, I was rarely present because I was so glued to my phone. I remember being defensive about her calling me out on this, because it was so true. There was a time in my life not to long ago, when I was utterly consumed by whomever may be trying to get a hold of me at any minute of the day. The irony of this, was that the person I was so concerned about turned out to be a fool and mostly a waste of my time, and my friend who wanted to spend more intentional and quality time with me has since moved across the country.

I am far from being disconnected from my phone, and I find myself still rushing to it after I've been away from it for an extended amount of time, but what I am noticing, is that I am taking offense to when I am wanting to spend quality time with people and they are attempting to have a conversation with me and texting other people at the same time. Now to be honest, I am still guilty of this behavior too, and I'm ready to change it. I tend to think that my time is precious and the people I choose to spend time with most likely feel the same way, and what I am realizing, is that I find it extremely rude when people don't value my time or my presence.

When I am spending time with someone, I have made a conscious choice to be with that person at that time and it is important for me to make the most of every minute that I choose to spend with loved ones and friends. I love making making people feel special, and at the end of the day I want to feel special too. When I am either texting someone, or taking insignificant phone calls while interrupting a real person-to-person interaction I am being rude and disrespectful. Being rude and disrespectful are two qualities that I am not ok with giving or receiving.

So how do I proceed? Of course there are going to be times when it is important to respond to a phone call or a text, but what I have found to be true is that 95% of the phone calls, texts, and emails, I receive can wait a little bit, if not for a a while. My intention is to be present while engaging in person-to-person interactions because it is important to me to connect with the people who take the time to be with me. I cannot change other people's behavior, I can only change my own, so when I find myself feeling like whomever I'm with is being rude or disrespectful to me, I have the choice to either say nothing, or speak up and share how I am feeling.

Here are some questions and thoughts that have come up around this issue for me:

What makes interaction with one person more important that an other?

Is a casual text conversation really that important?

How can I make the people in my life feel appreciated and special when I am with them?

Can I ask the people in my life who really only communicate with me on the phone to only call/text me at specific times?

What would it be like to turn my phone off for a set amount of time every day?

Now obviously this is an issue I am working with, I'm sure anyone with a phone experiences this to some extent, but I am curious, what behaviors do you take offense to that you actually perpetuate too?

I haven't been blogging for a while, and it feels good to be back.

Say hi, and have a great week!

Talia

Sanctuary

Sanctuary

One of the many perks of going to school to become a Life Coach, is that I have a handful of coaches at my finger tips to help me work through my own thoughts. As I was catching up with one of these wonderful people, not really intending to have an “Ahh Huh” moment out of the conversation, I found myself complaining about my house being a mess.

Since I got my dog 7 months ago, my life has shifted, obviously, and for the most part I am learning to adjust and seem to be doing fairly well. However, what I am not doing well with is keeping up with the endless amount of dirt that she tracks through the house, as if she is so proud of herself that she runs into every room spreading the joy of dirt everywhere. I am not a fan of this dirty dance.

Like the skilled coach that she is, my friend allowed me to share my thoughts and express my frustrations. Throughout the conversation, I found myself returning to the topic of my office, and every time I would mention it, I would take a deep breath and say, “I just want a space in my house that is mine.” I was already asking for what I wanted, but because I was so focused on my entire house being a mess, I was unable to see a very simple solution to the problem at hand. Very softly, and without attachment to my response, my friend asked a simple question. She said, “Talia, is there a space in your house that you can make into a sanctuary, or a space just for you? You keep talking about your office, can that be your space and your space alone?” My response, “Ha, yes, yes it can…. I hadn’t even thought about making a no puppy zone in my office, I love that idea.”

So today marks the third day in a row that my puppy is not allowed in my office. At first she was a bit peeved, and whined outside the door. However, in these past three days she is starting to understand our new arrangment; she now stops before she attempts to come in and the whining has stopped. Next week, I will re-organize my office and make it new and a more inspiring place to spend my time. What I love about this new behavior is that it is giving me a chance to set boundaries and maintain them, be committed to what is important to me, and create a bit more peace and ease in my life.

So my questions to you are these:

What seems to be a constant frustration in you life?

How can you shift your perception of this frustration in order to see what you haven’t been able to see?

What are you willing to do in order to lessen this frustration?

How would it feel to be free of this frustration?

I hope you are all well, share your thoughts if you feel like it.

Talia